My Journey with Compassionate, Non-judgmental Listening

Do you ever feel others wouldn’t love you or accept you if they knew the truth about you? Do you wear a mask all day to fit in and please others, and only remove it when you are alone? And then, when you are alone, the embarrassing decisions, regretful choices, and shame-inducing actions you wish had never happened, eat away at you.

The ugly, chastising, criticizing commentary in your head doesn’t ever seem to stop!   Self-shame and self-criticism are debilitating in many ways for most people, especially women and moms! They try to avoid and hide these negative thoughts, but in the hiding, negativity only festers and grows! Releasing and letting go of the negativity and darkness in your head and your heart, is the answer.  

There are several ways you might release your self-imposed judgment. Journaling, therapy, counseling, telling a trusted friend/family member, or talking to someone who will understand and keep your secrets.   Your journey through this cleansing/releasing is uniquely your own. When you are ready, you’ll prioritize your comfort level, bring forth the courage to move forward, and speak those debilitating words to another you trust.  

On my journey, for most of my life, I chose the journaling method, beginning just after high school. It gave me solace to get the negativity out of my head, but it did not resolve anything for me. I also spoke with therapists and counselors about life issues, but never once did I tell them my deepest darkest secrets. I was afraid they would think less of me and other people’s opinions of me ruled my world back then.  

I found my answer, my solution, in telling someone who was a friend (but who hardly knew me), the debilitating shameful, regretful events of my past, and the response I received was liberating. It happened by accident. I had not meant to share but I felt such trust and acceptance when we talked. She didn’t judge me, she was compassionate. She didn’t tell me what to do, she just listened. She allowed me to say those ugly words out loud and somehow it made them weaker, they no longer had a hold on me. I could address them with more clarity, and I realized, I was my own worst critic, I was the one who was so judgmental, assuming what others would think. I’ve also finally come to realize; other people’s opinions are none of my business.! We all have our own opinions, and we don’t need to take on the opinions of others! They don’t belong to us. (And yes, I’ve heard that at least a thousand times, but after sharing my “shame” out loud, it finally resonated!! I got it!)  

I am sharing this with you because I want to be that person for you, the one who listens without comment if you so desire, or with intuitive feedback if you choose that too. I am eternally grateful this amazing woman listened to me. And it is with gratitude I am choosing to be there for any women or moms who want to liberate themselves by simply speaking their truth out loud, knowing there is no judgment, and your private thoughts will be guarded and forever safe with me.  

You can choose to be anonymous, or you can speak with me, even if you know me or know of me, understanding this conversation is private and confidential forever! I’ll make myself available by phone or Zoom and will do my best to accommodate your schedule to create the privacy you desire when you speak with me.  

I want you to understand I’ve walked this path, and I know what it feels like to be overcome with shame and self-ridicule and not allow another soul to know.

I’m not a therapist, counselor or affiliated with a medical/mental health profession. I’m another woman, a mom, who desires to help.

You are a beautiful soul, and all the challenges and obstacles you face are part of your journey to learn from. Once you release your dark thoughts and negative self-judgments, you’ll have accepted them as lessons learned, and you can move forward, no longer needing to revisit them again, except in gratitude for overcoming and acknowledging your growth and expansion.  

If reading this has piqued your interest, reach out, I’m happy to expand on this offer and I'd love to share more.

Please share if you believe someone you care about would benefit from reading it too.  

I’m here to be your safe haven.  

With much joy and appreciation,

Glenda

glenda@enlighteningmamas.com